一個愛狗的人
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黃歡整理
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Dog-Lover Lin on April 25, 1998 at 03:19:21:
以下是個人經驗, 對不起只有英文版, 尚未翻成中文。
I do love dogs. There are so many important dogs playing important roles throughout my life. I must say in certain period, dog means a lot more than anything, even my parents.
I can't forget the one - my be-loved dog. I raised him since he was born under my bed. Then he died 2 years ago. I knew he will die soon when the diagnosis is his nerve system for the lower part is being depressed by something grown in the spine. He couldn't walk then, he's paralyzed. How much I wanna do to save him if I could BUT I couldn't, without advanced equipment and surgery technology in Taiwan ! I had to make him urine and make him discharge of the waste. I have to turn him around and massage 3-4 times a day in order to keep his muscle alive. I had told myself to be as strong as possible to face his death. I was ready to face his death.
After three months of careful & intensive care, he died in my arms after all. I watched him swallowed the last breath. I knew he's waiting for my going home to die in my arms that night then he could die without regret. It broke my heart since then, Tears fill up my eyes whenever I think of him, I'm with tears right now. I have the strong feeling that he will be with me again. I will find him somewhere in the world.
I don't know if you can imagine the bonding between me & my dog - Baby. Like mother-son, friends, family members, I used to talk to him when I'm alone but he's not here any more. He was a good dog, well-bred, the VET said he never seen such a good dog, swallow the medicine by himself. he never bit the VET when vet had to give him a shot, he took 7 pills when I told me that he has to take them all to be well. He did it.
I know it's bitter for a human not to mention he's a dog. Ten years of feelings can't be described in words. I must say that I learned a lot from being with him for ten years : loving, caring, the feeling of "alive but apart, death and goodbye - the worst things could happen in life" I understand that how important it is to cherish what I have instead of regretting when I lose. Dogs are more than pets to me. They are part of my family. I grew up with dogs with me all the time. Now I have four dogs. They are so cute and adorable, each with different temper, personality, like human being.
Thank you my baby for accompanying me 10 years. Hope you have a good life up there in Heaven.
Quote from a song "foolish beat":" I'll never love a dog again the way that I loved him since he said goodbye, the look in his eyes ......."
Then after my baby's death, I realized that I should care more about my parents, it's time to plan for their old days. I have to take care of them when they get older in the future. I have to prevent such tragedy from happening again in my life, and to my be-loved ones. I can't stress health more. After all, one's sickness is not for one to bear, the responsibilities is borne by those people who love you. Why don't we save their troubles and waive them from worries ? So I take good care of myself. I cannot bear to see another sad person in the same situation as I was. Prevention is better than cure.
I would blame myself totally for his illness, the vet said because dogs are not supposed to climb stairs, their strutures are not designed to climb stairs, slopes O.K. By doing so will result in such condition when they get older. My dog lived with me on the second or third floor all his life, he had to climb the stairs all the time. I have no idea of this. If I knew earlier, this won't happen. Except for this, I would say I've dedicated all I could to him.
Lin from Vancouver, BC. Canada
Xin on April 30, 1998:
I was quite moved by your story, and may God bless your little dog in heaven.
Comparing to you, I am a general animal lover. Not only dogs, every single animal on the earth. Especially small animals. I used to had birds when I was in China.(I have a special love of birds though. That might because I believe they are closer to God) But later, I realized it's not a good thing to keep birds in cages, so I set them free.(To tell the truth, I regreted a little bit after did that. They've been with me for a long time already). However, I feel much better now when I am praying before God, for I know what I did was right.
It's too expensive to have a dog here in USA, and most apartments in the city I live don't allow dogs. I am afraid I am not able to share how to love dogs with you. But I was indeed moved by your feeling to your dog. I am easy to forget, maybe because of the life experiences, or men's nature. But sometimes, while staying alone and remember my little birds, I can still feel the warmth of their little body and can hear their wings flapping. I guess that's more important than anything in the word.
I am glad to know you are helping other dogs, but please also give your love to other little creatures out there. May god bless you.
Xin